They say we are the average of the five men we spend most time with. For a minute, think about the people around you. Are they truly who your”tribe” ought to be or that you aspire to become in the long term? Are they really genuine individuals who wish to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who do not really want to see you happy?
In this article, I’ll review the reason it’s important to surround yourself with real individuals–the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who abandon all fakeness behind.
How to Spot Fake People?
When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a little while, spotting fake people gets a bit simpler. There are some very clear indicators that the individual you are taking a look at is concealing something, acting somehow, or just wanting to get someplace. Most often, there is a secondary gain–perhaps focus, sympathy, or perhaps a promotion.
Whatever it is, you are better off working their real agenda and staying the hell away. Below are some things you need to keep an eye out to help identify fake people.
1. Full of Themselves
Fake people want to flaunt. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of each and every accomplishment they had and each part of their body and claim to be the”best at what they do.”
Most of these people are really not that great in real life. But they act like they are and ensure they appear better than the next person. The problem for you is that you may find yourself always feeling”beneath” them irritated at their constant demand to be in the spotlight.
2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions
Have you tried with a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It is almost impossible. It is because they’ve limited emotional intelligence and do not know how they really feel deep down–and partly because they don’t need their true emotions vulnerable, no matter how ordinary these may be.
It’s far more difficult to say”I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing”average” emotions with”equal” people.
3. Zero Self-Reflection
To grow, we have to accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths as well as our weaknesses. We have to accept that we all come in various shapes and can always improve.
Self-reflection takes us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our errors. However, to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that imitation people do not routinely have. A fake individual generally never apologizes, but if they do, it is often accompanied with a”but” at another breath.
4. Unrealistic Perceptions
Fake people most frequently have an unrealistic understanding of the world–things they want to portray to others (pseudo accomplishments, materialistic gains, or a made-up awareness of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life beyond themselves.
A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This may explain why they can not be true and/or have difficulties seeing their surroundings for how it is (both good and bad).
5. ) Love Attention
As I mentioned previously, the largest sign that something is not quite right with somebody’s behaviour can be established by how far they love attention. Are you being upset every time you talk by somebody who would like to make sure the spotlight has reverted back to them? Is the focus constantly on these, whatever the topic? If yes, you are likely dealing with a fake person.
6. ) Individuals Pleaser
Appreciation feels nice but with everyone like you is even better. While it’s wholly unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of continuous acceptance.
Now, this is an issue for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things due to their own gratification. Second, they often wind up changing their minds or retracting their deal for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”) , leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.
7. Sarcasm and Cynicism
Underneath the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are frequently unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a recreation –anything they can remain feeling on top of earth, whether it’s through fostering themselves or bringing people down.
8. Crappy buddy
Fake people are bad friends. They do not hear you, your emotions, and whatever news you may have to talk about. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them once you have exciting or bad news to discuss, knowing it will always end up just one way–their manner. Additionally, you may realize that they’re not available when you truly need them worse, cancel plans at the last minute.
It’s not strange to hear that a fictitious person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be fair, if they can do it to other people, they are doing it to you too. If your”friend” makes you feel awful always, trust me, they’re not achieving their function, and they’re not a good person to get around.
The sooner you learn how to spot these bogus people, the earlier you’re able to meet meaningful individuals again.
How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?
It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you are getting. You are worthy, precious, valuable, and equally as important as the next person.
There are many ways to manage fake men and women. Below are a few hints about how best to cope with them.
Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world attempts to suffocate you. When imitation men and women become emotional vampires, make certain to keep your distances, limit contact, and just replace them with more valuable connections.
2. Do Not Take Their Behavior Personally
Regrettably, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will last much longer after you’ve moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their internal need to satisfy a void which you aren’t responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you’re a trained practitioner, you are not likely to improve it anyhow.
3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel
If your”friend” was hurtful or participated in behaviours you fight with, let them understand –well, ardently, however you want, but tell them that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you will feel better and if you are ready to move on, you’ll know you attempted to reach out. Your conscience is clear.
4. Ask for Advice
If you’re unsure about what you are seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Possibly a relative, or a fantastic friend, or a colleague may have some input regarding whether you’re overreacting or viewing some real concerns.
Now, don’t confuse asking for advice using gossiping behind the imitation individual’s back since, in the long run, you don’t wish to stoop down to their own level. But a little reminder as to the way to stay on your wellness track can not hurt.
5. Dig Deeper
Now, this particular one, I provide with caution. If you are emotionally strongup for this, ensured you won’t get sucked right into it, and have the skills to handle, perhaps you may dig into the motives a fake individual is acting the way they do.
Have they suffered recent trauma? Are they rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in almost any way they can? Occasionally, having an understanding of a person’s behaviour can help in calculating it.
6. Practice Self-Care!
Certainly, putting some distance between the fake person and your self is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes some time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!
Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after speaking to them or decreasing an invitation when you are not feeling up to the challenge.
Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They usually glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most frequently, you will find reasons as to why they’re like this. Calling their behavior might be step one. Supplying them with support may be the moment. However, if these don’t get the job done, it’s time to avoid and surround yourself with the positivity which you deserve.
Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It’s good moments, tough moments, and minutes you would not change for the world. So, look around and make sure you take the opportunity to pick the ideal individuals to share everything with.
We are the average of those five individuals we spend time with, take a good look around and choose wisely!
More Tips on Dealing With Fake People
- 7 Types of Fake Friends That Are Secretly Bringing You Down
- 11 Differences Between Real Friends and Fake Friends
- How Fake Friendships about the Social Media Get in Your Way of Real Friendships
Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez through unsplash.com